Sometimes I get into a mood to be.... not myself. Lose any sense and don't care, I just act retarded. Oh yayyy, a boyfriend I can be fully retarded with <3. *giggles to self* Mmhm.
Webcam.. possesses.. meeee..
First I had a huge box of chocolates.. And there was a big bow on it. I took the bow, put it on my head. Then I randomly say
"I ammm your giiift.. Use me well *has no idea*"
"Okay, I won't put you on the shelf and let you collect dust"
"You sure as hell won't" I smooch the camera.
Then I randomly hold the bow in my mouth (large bow that covers my nose and goes to my chin). And things get more retarded with every passing minute. ^__^
"The bow, it's kissing you"
"Now...hand over whatever you're on, I'd like some :D"
"is me biting a bow sexyy? XD"
"Maybe in some weird present fetish way it is but yes, no" I balance the chocolate box on my head
"-Throws pennies at it, trying to knock it over-" I put down the box and go to chewing on the ribbon that has the label on the end of it.
"Lemme guess.... There's crack on the ribbon"
"Haha *sucks on the ribbon*"
"I KNEW IT!"
"Yuuuuum.. ^__^ No."
"Tanya....the queen of drugs"
"*thinks of something perverse to say*”
"-Rolls eyes-"
"*sucks on ribbon in consolation of self*"
"You look like a dog who just found something in the yard and we said: "No, bad dog, put it back!" "
"haha and the perverse thing was----- not so perverse but perverse enough.. nooo I am not sucking on a ribbon because it's crack, I'm pretending it's you"
"You know what.... -randomly texts that sentence to Zach-"
"you're evil XD"
"-Says as he texts with his finger- "I am not sucking on a ribbon because it's crack, I'm pretending it's you" "
"I provide you with all retardedness to last you for years"
"-Chains you to the wall and uses you for retarded material- BUWAHAHA"
" *goes wtf at self* I guess because I can't make a fool of myself at any time I enjoy doing it now.."
"You know what? I still love you, even if you're insane :D"
"if you say so" I put the ribbon on my head and it stands like a sort of crown halo
"yess.. that is whyyy.. I have womenly urges to crack you up"
" You should wear that on your head and going around demanding taxes... "I AM THE QUEEN OF SEATTLE -as she points at a random person- you must PAY TO BREATH" "But I have children to feed..." "BREATHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FOOD".. Womenly urges to crack me up? The %^#%$? XD"
"XDD" I make faces
"-Tilts head- Uh-huh..."
"told you I don't make you laugh"
"I've been laughing over here, wtf are you talking about baka?"
"you didn't go 'haha' you went like, 'uhuh, whatever, you're fucking crazy', HEART IS BROKEN!"
"WELL DUUUUUUUUH But I was laughing.. When I say I'm laughing and you're like "oh suuuuure" sounds like me was saying you'd think I would know how to deal with myself by now USE YOUR HEARD BOI, MR. ALMIGHTY PUT IT THERE FOR A REASON NOT JUST TO BALANCE THINGS ON"
"*bows down, kisses feet* sorry my almighty master T__T"
"efsdjksdhlfs WRONG ALMIGHTY"
"you ARE MY GOD"
"I'm God's retarded twin brother Wessssssssy, the one they keep locked in the basement"
"whom I have affairs that are not affairs with"
"Doesn't make sense but OKAY"
"affairs are cheating but I'm not cheating”
"-Quietly steps away from the madness- Like I said... Hotel.. Lots of security. And a moat is looking good right about now"
"but I will get you and cover you in kisses before they can stop me with tasers, BWAHHHAHAHHA!"
"-Quickly loads shotgun- UH-HUH"
"NOTHING CAN STOP ME, I'M FUCKING IN LOOOVE!"
"-Loads faster, faster-"
"*talks like in the movies* Do you really think you can shoot me Wess? The only girl you truly love? Can you pull that trigger?"
"Um...Romeo oh Romeo, where art thou Romeo...?"
"you're not Juliette dumbass XD"
"BUT I WANT TO FEEL PRETTY"
"WELL YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL TO ME WESS! I'LL LET YOU BE MY JULIETTE ANY TIME!"
"-Smiles proudly, patting his chest with his thumb- I'm the woman in our relationship"
"I shall protect you! *wraps arms around you cheerfully and tries to pick you up*"
"With your massive taxes and crack addiction?"
"with my muscles!"
"The day you can lift me.... is the day Hitler is found "innocent" "
"how the hell can I sweep you off your feet, woman of this relationship? "
"-Cuts his -scratches out- "her" limbs off- THERE I SHOULD WEIGH LESS NOW!"
"maybe I'll lift you for a sec and we can both fall to the ground and then I fall on top of you all sexy like o__o"
"See....aren't we so good together? Acting like a couple of effing insane escaped hippies..."
"you bring out the pervert in me, baby"
"I don't even do anything XD"
"you're there.. I see therefore I pervert"
"The hell"
"I loooooove you XD sorry but you're screwed to follow me to the padded room to make out with me"
"HA! Yeah, I love you too....psycho"
"you're screwed to be with me XD hahhahahhahhah! all the possiblities.."
"-Is scared-”
"you're screwed to be with me until I drive you insane and you break up with me and I stalk you until you die"
"That would be an interesting outcome"
"I see it as highly possible "
"Well you're retarded"
"lol, I know, but, I think that's not retarded"
"Well it's not going to happen so it is retarded"
"I don't get how you can stand the total retardness o__o"
"Jesus Shishkabob woman....-points up- did you not SEEEE the conversation we just had?!"
"umm.. I guess not?"
"I act just as retarded as you, so of course I "can stand" it"
"what if we're walking along in a park and I randomly decide to tackle you?"
"Then I'll be like "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!! GYARR!" "
"nuuu :P they'd believe it XD just put on your gay voice 'oh god! I don't want her! get her off!!'"
"-Says in gay voice- "zomg who is this female pouncing me like a tiger -growl-""
"what if I decide to pounce on you and pin you down and kiss you? o__o"
" :D Theeeeen, I will submit!"
"what if we're in public? XD"
"Then as you're kissing me I will raises my arms in the air and give two big thumbs up"
"hahhahaha XDD"
" "JACKPOOOOT!" "
"that's too funny to picture XD"
I make a freaky face
"GET THE GUN HERALD, ITS LOOSE AGAIN!"
"IT'S A FUCKING FULL MOON!"
"-Gay voice- Rawwwwr"
"satan is probably hearing that thinking.. wow." (referring to his ex-uncle)
"It's almost 3am, Satan is sleeping"
"satan is kept awake by your feminine and beautiful gay voice <3"
"XD"
We talk more, randomly.
"you have thoughts, you know inside.. you are a perv..... <3"
"Well yeah but I don't express them like you do "
"I blame the chocolate."
"Hah, looks like ze hormones have taken over "
"yup XD"
"-the tips of his fingers graze over your cheek, pushing through your hair over your ear and down onto the side of your neck---P.S- -laughs at the wink- -"
And then suddenly out of the blue we get all romantic.
Can somebody say, what the f-ck?
Just another thing I love about him <3
I can be more retarded than I ever have been in my life with him.... And it's so-much-fun...!
I'm really giddy right now, forgive me. XD
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