Stress

I wish Carson wouldn't have friends spend the night.... I wish he wouldn't take up my only three day weekend. It stresses me out. I have to watch my image, comb my hair, I can't be myself. I can't walk out of my room in pajamas without feeling odd. Can't sing, can't play music, can't dance, can't laugh. I hate it. I can't watch things without him crowding behind me with his friend to see what I'm doing. I can't watch funny Japanese TV shows without the worry that it may show too much breast or maybe it has bad language. Such things don't matter to a girl, but to a little brother it's not good to see.
I hate this.. I had a bad dream too. I dreamt my parents were arguing, my mom brought someone over whom she'd only just met... ....... Sigh sigh sigh.
Carson's ten times as loud and annoying. He hums to himself and it all gives me a headache. I haven't taken a shower so I feel like a slob and worry what they think.
I have social anxiety for christ's sake.. I worry how people see me, what I say, and when people come over it completely ruins any comfort I have that day.
I get paranoid, if I find a cute drawing of a couple I can't look at it, I can't think, I can't write much, I can't look at a picture of Zandry if I wanted to because I'd worry that someone would see, I can't do anything.
I loath this.