Mondaay the fuuun day.... Sarcassmmmmm...
I hate Monday.. la la la.
Let me tell you all about today and last night.
Yesterday Mom had me do my homework at 12:30 in the afternoon.. She was intent that I not procrastinate it. Ironically, after finishing all my math and a few other things, I procrastinated the rest of my homework until late that night. The second season of Desperate Housewives was on, and I half-watched it for a while because my parents were, and I wanted to not think for a while. That was at about 9:30 PM. By then I was starting to get nervous, so I tried to focus on TV and not worry. Then I got on the computer for a while, wrote some poetry. Mom kept telling me to make Alex something, because on Monday Nana and Gramps were stopping by Pullman to visit Alex at his dorm and drop off gifts and home-baked brownies and things. I didn't feel like doing that at the time, as I didn't feel very creative nor in the mood to do much at all. I peek at yahoo, and see that Nikhil left me an offline message. I'm surprised and pleased, as I'm in a lonely mood. I message back and decide to email him.
Eventually I finished up and then went downstairs to go to bed. I wasn't feeling all that good, knowing I had homework I didn't have done, and the whole... Issue that just came up. I wandered off to my bed, taking the camera with me from upstairs. I lie down on my bed boredly taking photographs of myself, remembering when I had a reason to. I looked, and saw how underneath my eyes seemed indented circles, making me look especially weary. In my mind I thought of what I'd say if I submitted it to DA. "Hello, I'm gloomy, tired, and ugly today. How are you?" I sift through the pictures, deleting the ones that blurred.. Curse my shaky hands.
I heard footsteps and turned my head, seeing mom. I covered up the viewing window of the digital camera with my blanket, moving fingers to find the red button to turn it off. I put on the lensecap and put it aside, flipping over to face the doorway.
She came in with a glass of water and my pills. I shook my head, I had forgotten again. "Sit up, you can't take them laying down" "eh.." I sit up, scooting back to rest my elbows at my pillow. I open my mouth, pushing a small oval white pill to the back of my tongue, swallowing it down with water. On the second my eyes move to movement as my dad comes to my room. I say, with the second pill in my mouth "So, you've come to watch me have my pills?", rolling my eyes.
"Nah, I just came to say goodnight" my dad says, chuckling. Mom is sitting on the floor next to my bed, and Dad says goodnight to me and goes off.
After he leaves, mom says to me "Tell me a story. What's new?" "eh...." I say, diverting my eyes. "You okay?" "Mmhm.." "Something you wanna talk about?" "Yeah... kinda.." I sigh. I press my mouth closed and give the 'I can't say' look. "What, I have to close the door?" "Yup" She does so, and sits next to me on the bed. "So, spill it sister!" "Hah, ...." I pout and in indecision make that um.. How the hell to describe.. Press your lips tightly together and blow, the fart noise except more.. high pitched. I quietly do this boredly. I remember something. "Haha, you remember how I used to do that?" "Oh you bet I do!" "I'd always do that when I was upset and didn't want to talk" I continue it with a laugh. "Don't you start that again! I hated that stage!" "Haha" I continue, making a face. "Ah, you little shit" she says, and I laugh again. "Come on, just tell me" "Fiiine..." I take a breath, and all in one sentence and word, I say "I-basically-just-found-out-that-I-have-no-chance-with-Zandry" "Aah..." she replies. "Blah. It sucks. And he was nice, you know that." "Yeah.." she gives me a hug and I sigh. "You know, you don't have to search for love.. Especially so early on.. I was talking to Amy, talking about how Alex is girlfriendless and has no interest, and she said it has a way of just popping out of nowhere, like it or not, someone finds you" "Mm.." "Anyway, it'll be nice having someone who's actually there, someone you can actually hold 'nd stuff" "Yeah.."
Some time passes and she lays down next to me. "Want me to lay with you tonight?" "Sure" Like childhood, or 12-year-old nights when things got hard and I needed to cry. Eventually I fall asleep in a motherly hug.
----
I woke up at 5:30 AM, well, I glanced at the clock and was kind to myself and went back to sleep for a little bit.. I've gotten extremely good at waking up early, I don't know how the hell I fixed my problem with waking up, but I did. I think just not staying up too late did it.
I slowly get up, and I see I'm wearing yesterday's clothes, and decide to just change my shirt, as my pants are in general clean. It's still dark out. I wander to the bathroom and poke at my hair, and go upstairs to check to see if I have any messages. No messages, just my daily romantic horoscope, which I don't bother looking at, as it is n/a.
I then went onto yahoo and checked all my messages. As always, as I went on yahoo, Alex said "eyooo~" and I responded with a hello. "I have 3 things to show you!" "hurray" and followed by many links.
I hung out upstairs on the computer a while, and at about 6:25 I said that I had to go to Alex, and went back down.
I went to look at my homework that I hadn't finished, and shrugged. I answered some of the questions I could, and then left the rest to rot. I figured I could turn it in another day late, as I was sick.
I said hello to mom, who was in the kitchen. I looked through my things, and realized with three textbooks and two notebooks (not binders, but note taking things), that my back would surely break if I went on like this. So, I asked mom, what ever happened to that blue-jean bookbag that Sachika left for me? The one that said "get off my ass" or something. Well, it was a patch that had a donkey that said "get off my" so I assume they mean that. Hehe. I remember trying to cover that up in middle school because I wasn't sure if teachers would approve. So I searched around for that, failed to find it, so asked mom if she could cough up any extra bookbags. Indeed she could. She brought up about seven. One was about medicare or something, so I was like 'nooo..'. The other was women's health. Again, I didn't really want a bag with that.. And then the next was.. I don't remember. But brands I didn't really want.. Ugly white bookbags too. I shrugged and decided to pick the long-strapped black Lancome bag, because at least it was black and not ugly, and if the brand bugged me I could have it facing inward. So, I stuff my three textbooks in there, and to my relief it fits. I test how it feels with both a backpack and a load of books at my side, and it seemed better than just the backpack. So, I went with it.
Mom saw me testing it out and said "Hey! It's not time to go yet!"
I set down my stuff and looked through to my room, picking up my black hoodie that was lying on the floor and putting it on, flattening my hair back into place as it messed up.
Mom convinces me to write a card for Alex, and I do so, filled to the brim with inside jokes involving gas and metal gear solid and monkeys. I went to the kitchen and mom opened the cabinets, telling me to pick something. "We haave.." she listed all the cereals. I chose Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Ironic, because I hate cinnamon. But that stuff isn't so bad. Took a white bowl out from the cabinet on the left, a spoon from the drawer which I looked at briefly, a habit I have since hearing all those gross stories about accidently eating a bug or something.. I have this real obsession with what I'm eating with being clean. I sit down and eat it slowly, looking at the time. 7:05. I quickly search for gum to spare me bad breath, and pick up everything, shouting goodbye as I open the door, and head out.
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