Mom Woes

Been a while..

I just got Shadow of the Colossus from E.B.. God, happy. Joy. I love these games.. Ico is sooo good, I'm cosplaying Yorda from it.. And this game is by the same makers. I haven't even gotten to play it yet.. That makes me sad. Today I was so incredibly tired.... It seemed everyone was. After school especially. I took a nap, but it didn't help.

Anyway.. My mom's trying to figure out how to be with me. I mean.. how to act. She asked me, should she bitch about going down to do my homework, or what? I said "It's my responsibility, it's my choice, you don't need to drag me down or remind me, because if I do badly, it's my fault and that's my decision."
She still has trouble grasping it, and is in general irritated how I switch my plans in the middle.
Like, I said, I would go to bed at about 9:30. It's 9:38, and she asked me what I'm doing. The thing is, I really wanted to get things off my mind on my blog before I went to bed, so I could sleep well. And finish everything up here. So she gets a bit irritated at me, I wish she'd just trust my decisions. She doesn't get the trust thing. When I say trust, she thinks it means that every time I say I will stick to. "I'll be taking a shower at 4" "I'll be down at 10", she holds me to that. But what I really mean is, trust what I decide. If I'm late, it's because I feel I need to be, for whatever reason. Maybe I'm depressed and need to talk to a friend, or something else. But I wish she'd learn to trust me.
The thing is, I was home alone for three days. I was on top of everything, I cleaned the house, I fed the fish and cats.. I did all my homework. So she knows, I'm reliable. But she still can't really.. Let go of really getting me to go and go exactly at a certain time. I like flexibility in my schedule.. That way it can adjust to my mood etc...
She was raised with her mom having a very tight grasp on her schedule and always enforcing the rules.. So she feels she should with me as well, but wants my opinion. I respect that, nice of her. I hope she can eventually adjust to my way, just so I'll be happier and less stressed in general.