In truth, I kinda am. It costs me too much. It costs me sleepless nights and denial when it all fades. It costs me tears on the confused days. It leads me to say stupid things. It leads me to dream. And with dreams come disappointment. Never has this not been so. Not one dream in my life has come true. Not one.
No kiss, no hug, no hand to hold. Never has been there. Yet I mourn its absence. Because how wonderful it would be, to know one person would always be there, and would always care and help me when it all went wrong..
I cannot lean on anyone but myself.
And this is something I've been long used to, and I will not change it.
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