Funny

Funny how it works.

We build it up like a stack of cards, until it collapses. And then we start again, until it collapses.

Twice. this.. Is deja vu.

She, dear, is my nightmare, forever. Your savior and my depression.

For I, will always be, second best. Always.

It happened twice. I realized this twice. And maybe for the second time, I almost leave. Maybe.

First time. I realize, you love her. I realize, I have no chance. I ask if I should leave. You say you don't care. Actually you do, but you refuse to say it, because you're upset. I decide to stay, because I feel bad leaving. And there's no reason to lose a good friend. We build back up.

Second time. I ask questions. I realize again, you are out of my league. No matter how much you love me, you'll always love her more. So, once again, deep depression, and how we felt and how we spoke collapses again.
Yet, she cannot speak to you, you cannot reach her.

You're waiting for her to come back. You're waiting for your chance to be with her. I'm not in this story.

So what.. Am I .. Doing here?