Why

Sigh. Depressing.

I feel sad.. .. .. .. I don't know why. Just kinda alone-ish ish ish.. ........ .. I don't know...... Something. Empty. Yes, very empty.
Sucks to be me.

Yeah, I know exactly why I'm sad. But I refuse to tell you, ever.

Depressing, oh so depressing.......
Sigh sigh sigh. Kinda feel the soul sucked out of you with realization. Kinda go numb and go cold..
Tis.. unfair. Unfair unfair unfair. I wouldn't have done that to you, no, I wouldn't have. Why not me. Why. Why couldn't it have been me.. Why.

Why am I afraid of everyone. Why do I love those far away. Why can't anyone love me. Why.......
This isn't the time to be depressed and cry-ish.. Nope. I have work to do......
Need a hug desperately.. Yeah. But I can't get one. No one who would hug me is here. No one's here.
I hate it.

I want to crawl into a ball and go to sleep until something happy happens. I want a surprise, I want something I don't have to beg for. I want one day when I'm sure of myself, when I feel loved and pleased, and content.
Empty empty empty empty.

Yeah. Worst feeling in the world? Unloved. It is teh suck. It is killer. Because, it's also what I believe the point of life. Love and be loved. When you're not, it makes the days loong and really.. weary. Or when you believe yourself to not be. Or when you are, but you can't feel it.

I shall say it all, but I shall blank out everything of importance.

You’ll never --- as much as -----. You --- so much. It’s obvious. Will you ever ----? Will you ever show ------- me? I --, but I can’t --- if ---. You ---- show any ----, you ----really ---- to. I don’t know what to say.. But --- me ---. I feel like I’m ---- --- again. --- to ---- who’ll never -----. ----- who believes these things ------. Someone ----- in the end. I’m ----.. I don’t ---- like ---- before. Is it the ---- you? Is that ---- hard? I don’t know ---- I’m allowed ----. I don’t know what --------, I don’t know ---- I can ----. I --- how ---- feel and I ---- know ---- should. You tell me ---- love ---, why? ----you ---- convinced ---- you’re ---? You have the ---- to be --- or ---. You’re not --- ---. I wish --- thinking that.
Is it even ----..? Will --- ever ---? I hardly ---- -----. I hope so ---- we could, --- I really ---- know. --- I trust ---? Do you ---- as much -- --? Or --- you think it’s a ---- ---? My ---- consume ---. Why --- you -- ---- feel? Do --- --- --- you ---? Or are you ---- ----? I --- about ----, and I can’t say why --- so ----, but I ---- do.

I think things ---- --- wavered --- --- affect ---. I don’t know.. --- something ------. Suddenly I ----- --- easy it would --- -- you to ---. -- I’m afraid -- grow ----- --- you -- I did with ---.. What --- you ---? ----, ---, or do --- just -- love --? Or do --- ---- -- the distance --- too --? Do -- --- undeserving? I wonder...
Since ---- you as I did, I felt --- and I --- like we ---- ---. I ---- if you could ---- stand ---. My concern and ----- ---.
To ---- I’m ----- pretty --- and -------.. So I wonder how it is ---- to ---- more than -----.

I feel --- ----- a ---- coldness towards --- -----.. Or is it just ----..? What --- it..? Why --- you ---- as --- are?
How come ---- suddenly ---- less ---? I can ---- trust --- to --- there --- time.. is it --- --? Does ---- get in --- --? Or are --- really --- --- trying? I ----- really ---- it..

Something tells --- that -- - need ---- way to --- this.. To ---, I suppose. --- obviously can’t --- on --- as --- as we -- ---. So I --- an ---. We can --- each ---- back --- ---. I --- to do that --- an old ---- before --- --- ---, and it was -- lot ---, I must ---. It’s --- slow, --- it has --- --- and takes --- a -- less ---, and you --- have to --- at a --- --- either. You ---- do it ---- you --- , anywhere. So maybe --- would ---....
*sigh* yeah.. I don’t know.

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