My Heart is Broooooken!!!

"You got hit by a car, didn't you? NOOO! DON'T SAY YOU'RE DEAD!... um.. I mean.. DON'T BE DEAD!!!"
*runs off crying with dramatic violin music playing in her head and tears glittering as they trail from my cheeks*
"Heart.. Broken... AHHHHhhhhhhhhh!"
*is twirling around and running in circles around the house with dramatic sad violin music playing in her head*

I just posted this in a different place:

Oooooh, darling kawaii makiaru (zandry) es gooone.. He said he'd be here at six, or he'd be dead. So, I'll assume he's dead. ZANDRY IS DEAD! HE GOT HIT BY A CAR I BET!

Oh shoot, I'm not whining on my blog anymore, am I? I've retorted to making me look like I'm 11 here instead of in the semi-privacy of my own box (blog).

La la la la la la.. Time to act all dramatic. (this is me being childish)
*violin music plays*
*starts singing*
"la la.."
"Through these days, though time goes fast, and I can't sing.. But I'll sing of now and past...
Over a phone is all we can have, not a voice for less than this shiny penny, not a smile less than a photograph.
Make me a promise, a guarantee, that tomorrow and the next, you'll stay with me
No matter how far, no matter how long, but will you keep your promises?
Through all the days I'll wait, for the day when my hands don't shake
and through the days I'll wait, for a delayed dream
How many years does it take, for one fairy tale ending
But all our dreams and all aren't as they seem
I should stop believing stories, and stop having dreams
But my head goes on, and like before, i can't stop
is it another disorder? am I that f*cked?
But I never want to change, you see
if I wasn't like this, I wouldn't be me
But it's more than hard, to deal with this
hurting my friends in search of such bliss
friends to enemies, enemies of despise
piercing my security, a pair of harsh eyes
As if I'm not myself this time
Lips whisper words I never mean to say
mind screams, dumb and unkind
And nothing I do, is what I meant to
and everything i keep inside, I despise
tell me there's hope for my tomorrow
how much to return a heart you've borrowed
or what is the price I can pay
for it to remain this way..
please stay, please stay
don't fade, don't fade
from a life with little meaning
a heart always beating
for not a cause but me alive
moving and breathing until my demise
use of me is not but little
to live for someone with a life so brittle
it could crash any moment, any day
keeps me smiling, because as they say
you smile when they're watching,
to please, and you've caught me
smiling again

There's no much else I can do
but please those I can
there's not much I can say
but what helps, understand
just a pleased smile
is all it takes
to make my life
less a mistake
who can I make smile?

You, I've chosen
for reason, unknown
not much by,
rare appreciation
of what I can't appreciate
a laugh when I can't
a joke when I shan't
a daydream to be shared
not winced at and unprepared
for what to hear
my silly mind and little fear


Will you keep your promises?





Shitty singing/poetry is a sign that I'm hyper, and sad at the same time. Haha.

Please ignore me. Please.




"And this is how you pay me back for all my kinda and loving deeds, eh?... And they're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time.. And they're coming to take me away, ha ha!"

Ignore all that, I'm being dumb. I heart Zandry though right now he's being stupid.
Hold to your word. Don't tell me you'll be there. Don't tell me you'll give me a birthday present. I can't rely on you. You've proven that four times now.