Zandry, is alive. And I remember how much I love him.
I was quite disconcerted to find his messages on my yahoo when I came back upstairs. He thought I was ignoring him, so he said he'd be back some other day.
When I read his poem, I wanted to cry, and felt like I was gonna barf. I was doing this! Bad bad baad! I hate hurting people more than anything in the world! So..
I was like "OH SHIT!" and hurriedly wrote his phone number on my hand, grabbed my phone card, and said no to having dinner and went right to calling him.
When he answered the phone with hello and I responded, he was silent. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, and sounded terribly sad. Forced and strained. Uneven.
I felt soo bad. I asked him where he'd been. His brother has taken a liking to playing pool on his computer, and is hogging it, and he has a lot of school work to do. Oh, was my response.
I said he sounded sad. He said "huh, really?" and I was like "yeah.." I think he said he wasn't, so I said he sounded really weary then. He said yeah, that was closer to it.
I apologized for my moody whiny depression, and he said no, I shouldn't be sorry. I said he was forgiven, and he said he didn't deserve it. I said yes he did. He said I should like Weston or Nikhil. I said hell no, I like him. (no offense to you guys, just I love Zandry :P) I said even when I ignore him and act pissed off, I terribly want to talk to him. And all this ranting.. All it was, is I missed him. That's it.
I love him so so much. Only his absence drives me insane. I missed him sooooooooo much. I wished I could give him a hug right then, because he sounded sooo low. I vowed to be less insane when he went missing, next time.
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