Ack.

Now I feel all sad and lonely, and at the same time incredibly clingy and bad. I amm sooooo clingy, it's not good. Nooot good. At least he tolerates, er, not tolerates, but more, doesn't mind it. I have a lot of annoying features that drive most guys mad. Jealousy, clinginess, anti-drug, anti-egotistical, anti-smoke, anti-alcohol, anti-sports, anti-rap.. Well, that's just the guys at school. But clingy and jealous, not good. And wanting to tell my stories, and wanting you to listen. LISTEN damn it. :P And wanting to call you. And for you to send pictures. Well, as a pen pal, anyway..
And wanting to talk every day, for you to take time away from your life to talk to me for hours on end. Every day. And insecurity. A hell of a lot of that. Need for reassurance and always asking. And wanting to cling to you wherever you go. Dying for some sort of closeness, for affection. Lonely, bored, tired, grumpy. Mood swings. Need to randomly dress really odd or to go out and explore the city. Not liking many movies, never going out to see them, not being updated with the most recent updates in our society, never knowing the latest. I talk in riddles and have a hard time expressing what I really want to say, sometimes. When I talk in riddles, I don't want to sound like the b*tch I'm being at the time. Maybe I'm suspicious, maybe I'm afraid, maybe I'm wondering something. I avoid saying it, and I make you ask the right questions to make me spill. Nagging you when you do dangerous things. Worrying about you. Wear baggy clothes, usually unflattering.. And being very withdrawn.. Shy. Having a disorder, social-anxiety, I try to avoid contact with people for most of my free time. Why he doesn't hate me yet, I will never completely understand.

ffffff*cking homework. F*cking homework. When I want to write, let me write. Quiet. I'm done with it. Just have the test. I want to write write.. But.. I can't.

And he's not here. Ah.. .. Damn the prediction to hell, I swear I jinx myself.