I'm so happy and sad. My paranoia is gone.. I won't be harassed, Alex won't laugh at me. I'm happy.. I can go on walks, I can have fun.. I'm going to go downtown.. I'm going to have hot chocolate.. I'm less afraid to say what I want to..
But.. I'm so sad that he's not coming, and that he's gone.. It's.. so.. ... a bummer.. *sighs*
Life goes on. It's not the end of the world. But I know, I'm never going to meet him. I'll never hug him, ever, and I'll never kiss him. Nothing. I need to accept that.
.. It's hard.... "Why is it, that love is never happy for me? Why do I only fall for the ones who I can never have?" a good question.
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