Bored n Lonely

I have Ariel to keep me company today. But I'm still very much missing Zandry. Three days are left, and I'm wondering, will it work at all? I still don't know.
He hasn't been on the internet nor anything for four and a half days. No way to contact him really.. Well, I could by phone, but I have this icky dislike for calling when I know they're busy or gone. I wish he'd pop on so I could know what's happening..... *sigh*
I'm hoping the 19th won't come and pass, with him still gone, no explanation. What would be bad is if he couldn't make it for some reason, and he was avoiding me because he didn't want to tell me. He'd better not do that.
I have this icky feeling that he'll be gone longer... And I have the icky feeling that he won't make it either. I really don't like the feeling I get.
Maybe he's busy, doing something else. I'd think he'd be thinking about this, as the date draws near..... He did want to see me.. didn't he..? I've tried and done the best I could do. We got the letter mailed, we called his grandma, we did all we could do. It's his turn, and I'm just hoping he's trying, at least. It's okay if it doesn't work, but I'd be sad to learn that he'd completely ignored the fact that he was supposed to come here, that he didn't try, lost track of the days. Because I'm really trying. And I really want this to work......
It scares me for him to be gone so long without warning, and when there's so much to do and so little time.....
Please come back soon, if you're not coming here.

I don't really want to hear that you were out doing something you had to do these four days. Course I don't want to hear that. Because I've tried so hard. I'm willing to cancel things and sacrifice just to see you.

This is why I kinda dread leaving things for fate. Because I wait, and wait, and that's the end of it. I'm never in control. I can't do anything about it, and that's that. I wish I could. I can only help.
My dreams always seem to need someone else to say yes to come true. It's really a pain, I think.

Oh... I sound like that again...... Waiting always gives me a sour feeling, I have to say. Waiting, it has so many bad memories. So ironic, that my mom's most said saying is "patience is a virtue".. 70 is a bad number. 7 in general. 7 is a week, 7 is a long time. 7 is just when the sun starts going down. Please don't be gone that long. Please appear, come back.

"When the day is long... and the night.. The night is yours alone.. When you're sure you've had enough, of this life. Well hang on. Don't let yourself go, cause everybody cries. And everybody hurts, sometimes."
Haha, good timing for such a song. It came on and random. By R.E.M..

I miss him I miss him. T__T ...
I'm afraid something bad will happen. I keep on forgetting why he likes me at all. I'm getting these icky thoughts all the time. Like, what if he decided it wasn't worth it. Or he's out doing something with someone and can't make it. Or he didn't like me anymore.. Or maybe he decides to break the friendship because I'm too far away. When he's gone, I forget... I worry. It's how my mind works. If you're gone, I'm afraid you'll continue to be gone. Natural sick to the stomach feeling I get from it. Ahh.. .... I'm worried, I don't like it, no no no..