I keep on getting these blank emails. It's kinda irksome. I looked at the source, but there is no real source, and it has no message. Blank. One is May 4, 2005, 2:02:56 AM. Another is 4:34 AM. What's with this..? Maybe someone's email screws up, or something, or.. I don't know.
*shivers* Damned windows are still open.. So.. Are you are you are you who-? Ameie, Zorro, I need to do that.. Sorry, unexplained. In Amelie, Amelie buys a Zorro costume at a costume shop, and goes to a photo booth and takes pictures of herself holding up signs, to leave a message for someone. http://www.garotadpi.com/blogimag/amelie4.jpg 'it is you, isn't it?'
Who what where when?
I had an icky dream last night. I dreamt that someone took over our house.. Who.. how.. I remember I was trying to escape.
The door was left open today, when I went to sleep.. (in the afternoon) Maybe that's why. I couldn't find mom and dad, I couldn't find anyone, and the door was open. They must have left without me.. I looked out my window, and was disturbed to see people in our yard. I ducked. But they saw me. Anyway, the door was open. Before I could close it, they were in. They refused to leave. About six 20 year olds. Jerks. Tried to grab me, but I ran. I ran as fast as I could towards the basement, down the steps, towards the door. I grabbed at the knob, wildly trying to turn the key the right direction to open the door. They were right behind me, and close enough to have me afraid. I kick at them, and manage to knock some of them down the stairs, and jerk the door open, and go running. I run around the house side of the house, across the street, down 65th. I run run run, try to scream for help, but can't.
I used to have those dreams.. I would dream I was trying to escape through the back door. I dreamt I was running to the neighbor's house.. It's been a while since I've had one.
Bloody nose this morning. Another reminder of why I don't like the summer.
I should eat something. Really.
"Creeping up the backstairs. Slinking into the dark stalls. Shapeless and slumped in bathchairs. Furtive eyes peep out of holes. She has so many guises.... Golly, jeepers. Where'd you get those peepers? Peepshow, creepshow. Where did you get those eyes?" - Peek-A-Boo, Siouxsie and the Banshees
That song gets a bit addicting.
The Lonely One is an addicting song as well. "Happy in solitude. Secure there's no one to depend on." Course it reminds me of me, because sometimes I see everyone as such a bother. Lonely, but I don't want to have to have someone with me. Yet sometimes do. Sometimes don't. I don't know.
AND because Nikhil won't shut up.. (*poke*) Let me tell you, the poetry, anything that has to do with heartbreak, it was and now is not. I'm over it. The heartbreak poetry was from when we decided to take a break from talking to each other. 70 days.. It was horrible. And then finally we decided, nothing would work, and we said goodbye for good. The true goodbye is the first poem on May 1st. I had 70 days to toil and freak out. To be disappointed, to get the flu, to have an unhappy birthday, to turn 15, to yearn, to write poetry, to become numb, to give it up. And I did. It wasn't worth waiting for, it wasn't worth crying over. So I didn't. I had already realized that it would never work, and I finally accepted that it wasn't worth it. The summer was wonderful, but how we changed made it fade. The liar, the childish fool, the depressing whining-- But he was a truly nice person, when I felt I knew him.
My hands are freezing. Breakfast breakfast breakfast. I should stop lolligagging (how do you spell that?) and start doing things I should. I'm spending too much time dozing off and pondering questions.
And gah, I slept in all my clothes again. *looks down at the black shirt and brown cargo-ish pants* Whoops! So Let me be responsible.. I should I should I should I should.
4 comments:
Dear Tanya,
Things happen. To sleep this much, you had needed it. Hi-score! Hope you'll eat well tonight...
About that, i can tell you that most of the time, if the source is blank, it's to be sure your email is occupied. Don't try to really understand the necessity of that. It can be to make spam listning, prepare a virus attack, send you a virus... (You don't care, you got a mac).
I know french films are difficult to understand at first sometimes. This one, by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, explain (longs to short) how someone could use mistery (how will i write that..) to turn curiosity to love. Well, there's things i don't remember, but that's the plot. *smile*
Here is my idea about your dream. Two things: You want to get away from home, making your own life, but you are afraid to do so.
Perhaps you slept in your clothes, but at least, you had slept.
--- Apart ---
I've just seen your last deviation, and i'm surprised how you made what must be a common photography into a lil' piece of art.
If you didn't, please had a view to the details... Here is my vision, has you guessed.
First... Yes, these glasses look very good on you..
Secondly, the way the seatbelt flips away is a fantaisy that turned to a link through the background. Your necklace just complete it by a touch of black.
The reflections on your glasses as well complete this background, and by the way just gets your eyes look prettier. *smile*
So, that background. It seems that the fact it looks near white due to the sun, combined by those reflections on your glasses takes the scene away from you (sorry!), perhaps deeper inside you (black eyes in the middle of a light blue tint).
Well, 12am here, i'm going back to work.
Good night, dear Tanya.
Yeah, you're probably right about that. Likely shall eat well, it's just breakfast and lunch I slack at. Ate a full breakfast for once, but only one of those easy-to-grab snack things for lunch.. Well, better than yesterday, yesterday I had nothing to eat for both.
Ah, I see. I'm surprised I didn't think of that.. Well, I don't know much about viruses, spam and such.. But yeah, it isn't a problem (so it seems), having a mac. Yay.
*chuckles* I wouldn't know. I haven't seen a lot of French films. Only Amelie and Happenstance, which were fairly similar, in some ways. Oh wait, and an old, black and white French version of Beauty and the Beast out of boredom.. I have to say, it was pretty cool... Just the whole castle and how the the statues would move, just a little, and the arms holding the candlesticks... It was just well done. I may see it again sometime. My mom hates watching movies twice, but I like to, because you always notice something you hadn't before.. If I see the Beauty and the Beast one again, it'll be for the third time. It just has lovely costumes, and everything is just.. really neat looking.
Do you research everything or something? You always seem to know the terms and names of things.. I'm not very knowledgeable with such, I never can remember who made what and what everything's called. Sometimes find myself forgetting the simplest words.. Like sometimes I just can't remember the word dicepline, and I have no idea why.. I'm a native english speaker, so it's odd. I think it just happens when I'm tired.
*laughs* That's possible! But, I also used to have a fear of burglars and people breaking in.. But maybe so. Because somedays I just want to run out the door, towards the streets, and just go somewhere else. I can't until I'm 18, I think, and I can't get a job until next year. Bleh. I want a job now, so I can get a head start. I need money, I'm nearly broke. And all I can do at this point is chores or babysitting, but I'm stressed easy so chores is the only thing.
Yeah..
Hmm..? But I didn't even try! I mean, it's on the go, just boredly taking pictures of myself.. Heh.
Amazing how you view things, to the tiniest detail, and interpret them... I don't know why, but I never do. I guess I just never thought to.. You seem to see with more of an artist's eyes. Ah, thank you. *chuckles* And speaking of eyes, your talk of reflections reminds me of how if you look into someone's eyes, you can see your own reflection. I wish I could capture that..
Ahh... So there is a big time difference.. Hm.. But, do say, which country are you from?
Goodnight : )
Dear Tanya,
If you want to see a good french movie, once in a while, with true french humour, search for "Le dîner de cons" (1998), known as "The dinner game" in the US. A link to imdb
About your question, if i research everything, let's say i have some easiness in some subjects.. ^.^
So there's times when you forget the word discipline? Yeah, i don't like school either. ;p
I've seen some throught-eyes-reflections (can't remember who, 'must be at an event). It's strange, a bit disturbing. I had the feeling of seeing really inside the person, through its own eyes.
Na! I won't tell ya! *laughs*
9 hours of difference.. You are at GMT-8, and me at GMT+1. Generally, i read your paper when i get up.. A good way to start the day. ^.-
~Look across the Atlantic, you'll get nearer.~
Bonne soirée, chère Tanya.
Oh.. I think I've heard of that movie.. er.. Maybe.. The dinner party, the dinner game.. I can't remember what it was. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds familiar.. I'll be sure to check it out
Hm.. Btw, the link doesn't appear to work.
Ah, well, it seems to be a lot of subjects so far, lucky.
Huuuh.. I spelled it wrong..? Discipline... Darn it, spell check didn't save me. :P Okay, I can't spell it either. ^ ^; Whoops!
Yeah. I don't know why, I usually divert my eyes from everyone, so doing that I wouldn't have seen it ever. But who knows.. Maybe just a stare-down with a brother, or noting it at some early age. I think it's neat.. It's like seeing their soul, and.. reminds me how my grandma said "Woooww!!! I can see your soul!" (I'll tell you about that in a second) When I see it, I also think about the um.. I think of it as a dark picture of exactly what they're seeing. Like you can see deep inside their mind.. Like the lens of a camera..
My grandma, not long ago, she asked me to "open your eyes wide for once!" Because, I swear, I'm always tired and have my eyes closed or looking away. So, I open my eyes wide and look at her, and she gasps and says "Woow, I can see your soul!" which makes me laugh. She was serious, or more, sounded very serious. I wonder what she saw, seeing my soul..
Ahhh! Doo you haaaaave to make me think!? I'm sooo tired, and I'm terrible at all subjects including thinking. I suck at geography, USA is too busy cramming for tests to teach us anything right! Or, my memory is terrible. Well.. Maybe I could try, but I'm going to get it wrong. Come on, I was forgetting what a continent was! Isn't that scary??
Blah, why can't you telll meeee.. Why does it have to be a seccccreeet... *sigh* I'll look, but I'm going to get it wrong, as I said.
Anyway, mystery person, I'll list things I don't know about you, that drive me crazy:
Your first name. What country you're in. He/she/it. (I can assume but what if I assume wrong?!) How old you are (crucial, I feel like I have a scary stalker). What you look like (you are a shadow silhouette to my eyes). If I know you from somewhere else. (I doubt it, now, but how do I know?) How long you've been looking at my deviations.
Gyah. Mysteries.. I never liked mystery books.. And mysteries leave me wracking my brain all day at school.
Eh... No hablo frances, porque los lenguajes son muy dificil a estudio. Y... (Espanol)
Iie, furansu hanashimasen. (Nihongo)
Konbanwa, Spesial Van Loe
Post a Comment