A Song's Memory

"It started with a dedication - 'Lost in admirations. Happy birthday, I'm forever yours. -Blossom' Faded red inside, and a tiny book of butterflies. Smiled, surprised how when flickered through, the wings flew by spelled out my name. Six months went by, the summer lost, obsessively your letters dropped into my life. Same soft blood through flowing hand 'Please try to understand, I have to see you, have to feel you, tell you all the ways I need you. Yours forever in love' Strange attraction spreads its wings, varies but the smallest things. You never know how anything will change. Strange attraction spreads its wings, it alters but the smallest things. You never know how anything will be... The year grew old incessantly. She wrote to me, she's started smoking poetry! I laughed in recognition of a favorite phrase. She pulled me in, I answered her. A Christmas card in Sepia. Arranging when and where, and how the two of us should meet. Her opening so well prepared, a nervous smile. I couldn't take my eyes from her. She whispered, 'can I use some of your lipstick?' It was perfect, so believable. I couldn't help but feel that it was real. Kissing crimson, fell into her waiting arms. Strange attraction spreads its wings, varies but the smallest things. You never know how anything will change. Strange attraction spreads its wings, alters but the smallest things. You never know how anything will be.. So alone into the cold new year, without another word from her. I wrote to ask if we could maybe meet again before the spring. Weeks went by with no reply, till once more my birthday came, but with my surprise, this time nothing was the same. 'I'm sorry, blame infatuation, blame imagination. I was sure you were the one, but I was wrong. Seems reality destroys our dreams. I won't forget you. -Blossom' Faded red inside.. And I tiny book of old goodbyes.. Strange attraction spreads its wings, varies but the smallest things. You never know how anything will change. Strange attraction spreads its wings, alters but the smallest things. And you never know, and you never know, and you never know..."

-Strange Attraction, The Cure

I remember that song.. *smiles* It was the first song I ever heard from The Cure.. Apparently rock-stars in the 80's wore lipstick.. Always liked the song. Ironic, I find it, because it reminds me terribly of my fate. Especially the 'weeks went by with no reply, till once more my birthday came..' .. Because that's what happened. Winter came, we stopped talking, the new year was alone, my birthday came and passed (February), and soon I realized, it wasn't worth it, had to leave. He wanted me to leave, too... It was when, anyway? March 26th.. Sure took long enough, though. I swear, all this crap happened to make it take a long time. A long time since I decided, I want to leave.. For a while I had no idea how. And waiting for the phone call that never came.. Another lie, broken promise. I just wanted it to end.

My god. I feel like one of those damned whining girls, who constantly talks about her "brooooooken heeeart", and acts all depressed. Jeez. I never wanted to be like that, nor to talk like that! Yet... I keep on having it in my head. Reminders. Little things remind me. And... Just leads me to write. My thoughts. I know it's damned annoying, but I don't care. I'm not obsessed.. Well, the problem is, I was obsessed. So it's hard not to at least say something about it.. Constantly at the back of my head. *shakes head* Oh well.