Screaming Head

Completely exhausted. School takes so much out of me...
When I got home from school, I just sat down, and fell asleep. I was then startled awake, with my mom tugging my arm. What she was saying wasn't comprehended, and all I really heard of it was "we're going for a walk!" and my confused "what!?". Suddenly burst out of my sleep and awakened to annoying, noisy voices telling me to go or to wake up or to get up. Confused rubble in my head. Stubbornly I simply walk to my room, and lay down there before they can stop me. But, my brother grabs me but the leg, attempting to drag me out as I grip the bars at the head of my bed. "let go let go let go!" Of course he doesn't listen. I attempt to kick him, but like always, to no avail. So I simply wait with an iron grip on my bed. He lets go of my leg, pulling off my covers instead. I let go of my bed, to grasp the mess of covers and pull it back. Grabs my arm, and I'm stuck sitting up. "let go! That hurts!" My weight is towards the bed, and his grip holds me half up, by my left arm. I yell at mom to make him stop. But, it's her will for him to harass me so. "You can't sleep now! If you sleep, you'll be upstairs, on the internet past eleven!" "No I won't! I'll sleep until eight!" "Half an hour, are you kidding? You'll likely sleep all night!" "Nuh uh!" "Fine. Alex, let go" He lets go of my arm, and I fall with a plunk back down to my pillow. I wake up at 8:30.

I hate my family. Well, I do. They irritate me, hold me from what I love most. Sleep. I want to sleep. Go away. Go away. I don't like you. I want to sleep. I'm extremely irritated at the moment. Kinda just my "shut up, I hate you" mood. I hate school more than anything. GO away. Stop making me.. *sigh* I don't know. I think two hours of sleep has its side affects. Darn it, Nikhil! *chuckles*
I couldn't sleep.. I tried, but I couldn't at all. I was just.. worried, not used to the idea of waking up early, not used to it at all. Well, I've been waking up to talk to Nikhil most these past days, so that helped a little, but still. I just was worried. Couldn't make myself sleep. Now I'm dying. I wonder if I should just sleep.. And just sleep. Get 7 hours of sleep... That sounds alright.

My family is nice.. Just they irritate me. Terribly. On days like these, I don't want anyone in my face. I wanna go to Uwajimaya, I want to buy candy and angel food cake, I've waited three weeks. Yet, no one will go with me. My mom is still unable to go anywhere, I'm trapped here, I'm bored out of my goddamned mind, and I'm.. Sick of everyone, and everything. I'm tired of everything. Shut the hell up. You don't need to talk that loud. You don't need to shout across the room. What the heck is wrong with my music. I hate you.
SHUT UP! Don't tell me that, I know. Fuck you! I don't care, and I know! I don't need it rubbed in every second. I know that I have to go soon, I know that, I know I know I know I know. Since when has that been any different? If I could hit you, I would, but I can't even lay a hand on you. Wow. I sound pretty terrible. I'm just.. So.. Annoyed. Tired. It makes me cry-ish. Very cry-ish. My head screams. Screams go away, please, just go away. Let me.. Be at peace. My head hurts so much. I'm going to break down, if I don't go soon. I'm going to just scream, or cry. Terrible.. Just feel terrible.

"You're wrong. That's all wrong. Don't wake me like that, I was dreaming, and I'm tired of everyone. Because I feel that you're wrong, go now, so long, you win, leave me alone.."
-The Sundays

"Testing tomorrow..? Oh, Tanya? It looks confusing."
"I know."
"Tanya, you start WASL tomorrow.."
"No, mom. ITBS."
"And guess what mom, I don't go to Roosevelt tomorrow! 6th period isn't meeting." (my brother)
"Oh, really?"
"yeah."

I'm dying. I sleep now.